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Today I’m talking with Lindsey Nicole about finding joy after divorce and depression. She’s the author of Choose Joy, a collection of spiritual insights designed to remind you how much you are loved and supported on a soul level. Lindsey’s an optimist who inspires us to seek joy even amid challenging times. Today, she’ll be sharing her journey through an unhealthy relationship, the devastation of divorce, depression, bankruptcy, and the diagnosis of her son with autism all in one year. She’s pulling back the curtain on how she navigated these twists and turns, learned what she really wanted, practiced joy, and redefined success.
What to Listen For:
How she met her husband
The little voice telling her, “This isn’t for you”
Building a relationship on survival instead of joy and support
Realizing she felt different when her husband came home for the weekends
“Our weekends together were not pleasant. They weren’t fun.
A general ride to Costco would go something like strapping the baby into the car seat, And then he’d just be like, ‘what’s wrong?’ I’m like, ‘nothing’s wrong.’ And by the time we got to Costco, I was screaming at him. And he was like, see, I told you, I told you you’re mad. I told you you’re angry.”
Trying so hard to change, to be the person she thought her husband wanted her to be
A moment where she realized it might not be a healthy relationship
The early steps on her journey to figure out what she wanted
Her struggle to find direction
Finding power in understanding what she DIDN’T want
How the little things started to add up to help her make her next move
Leaping off the cliff
“Mother’s Day morning, 2012, and I’m standing next to my baby’s crib. I think we’d fought until three o’clock in the morning, the night before.
I knew I wasn’t going to be getting a gift. He hadn’t remembered birthdays. Those things weren’t important to him, but I knew I was a good mom.
And I knew I wanted three words, ‘Happy Mother’s Day,’ seemed very simple and seemed very doable. I knew I was worthy of that. And he came in, and the way his feet hit the ground, I knew he wanted to fight. He just started, and I was like, ‘I’m done.’ And the words kind of came out before I even thought about it.
I’m done.”
Leaving in the face of uncertainty and the calmness that came with that move
Losing much of her support network of friends during the relationship
Jumping into a hot and heavy relationship after ending her marriage
Having to deal with unprocessed feelings from her marriage after the new relationship ended
Getting walloped with depression
“I just started to feel everything that I hadn’t, that I’d like shoved under the rug from before. So it was like a season of depression. I remember dropping my child off at preschool and coming home and just laying in bed until it was time and crying. And doing that for a couple months and just picking them up from school and then trying to make the best of the rest of the day.”
Making a conscious decision to change and to heal herself
Taking time for herself
The worst experience that she feels was her rock bottom moment
“My son was taken away by CPS and given to his dad for a weekend because of a misunderstanding.”
Breaking down at that moment and realizing she needed to change so she could keep her son
Trying new things and making new friends
Stepping into the next version of herself
Building her mental state up a tiny step at a time
Her son’s autism diagnosis as she was starting to feel more like herself
Trying to make a purchase and realizing there were no funds in her account the following Mother’s Day because creditors had seized the funds
Wanting to find inner peace in the middle of life’s craziness when she left her husband
How her mission for peace fueled her decisions
“Every time I would have one of those choices to make, I would think which choice is going to make me fee…