Grieving with Ease and Finding Purpose with Martika Whylly

Today I’m talking with Martika Whylly about grieving with ease and finding our purpose after loss. Martika is the author of Having fun with God, a podcaster, and a grief counselor. After her own experiences with death and loss, beginning with her mother’s suicide when she was just 15, she came to understand the path towards healing in a more meaningful way and now guides others as they navigate this road as well. Today, she’s sharing about having suicidal thoughts, being angry with God, the signs her mother was with her after her passing, and how her mother and an apparition she calls “the man in black” helped motivate her to write her book. 

What to Listen For: 

  • How writing her book helped her find her purpose
  • Ignoring that little voice that was nudging her towards her calling
  • Asking why all these tragedies befell her
  • When her mother married an abusive man

“When you’re not sure what to do when you’re in an abusive situation, I guess she thought taking her own life would be the best way to go.”

  • Her thoughts on her mom watching over her
  • How not seeing her mother’s body after she died affected her grieving process
  • Learning more about the stages of grief as she got older
  • Seeing the signs her mom was with her
  • The realization she had while watching a TV special about elephants
  • Recalling a scene from the show to help her process her cousin’s suicide
  • What she did differently in her cousin’s passing that helped with both losses
  • Feeling suicidal herself after losing her mother

“I mean, it’s not really hard to take a step and fall 20 stories, right? But this force pushed me back, and then it was like a surreal kind of experience where, wow, if I had died, that would have been kind of like a, It’s a Wonderful Life experience. That’s how I felt coming out of there. 

We don’t think we’re important. We think we’re so insignificant, and we all are so vital. We’re so important. And we’re not told that every single day. But we are; we’re so important and vital.”

  • The difference the vice principal at her school made
  • Having five moms after her mom passed
  • Losing several more family members in the years that followed
  • Deciding she wanted to find her father

“I thought I wouldn’t have any problems finding him. It took two months to locate him.

And when I finally did, I was told he died two days earlier.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

  • Getting angry with God
  • Her experience when she passed out while visiting a friend at the hospital
  • Seeing the man in black and how this compelled her to write
  • How writing has helped her connect with her inner voice and intuition
  • What she told her publisher about her motivation to write before she was ready to share
  • Feeling grateful for going through these losses at an early age
  • Hearing her mom’s voice telling her to write while she was watching Oprah
  • Moving to the Bahamas for two years after her cousin died.

“I was motivated by that apparition. I started writing and noticed that it was very healing after my cousin Nicky died. I didn’t get any counseling. What I did instead was I moved to The Bahamas for a couple of years. I just want to get out of the house, out of Canada, and just kind of get to know me.  

So when I came back after spending a couple of years in the Bahamas, the writing just became a compelling thing that lasted for three years. And it’s funny because I don’t think I’ve ever sat still that long ever.”

  • All the ahas that poured in as she wrote
  • What happened that made her stop asking the universe for things
  • Asking spirit what to do with her money and getting an answer she wasn’t ready for
  • What she would tell her 15-year-old self
  • How she wants to go when it’s her time

About Martika Whylly:

Martika Whylly is an Author, Podcaster and Grief Counsellor. Her path to become a grief counsellor became clear sometime after she wrote the book Having fun with God. An autobiographical journey about death, loss and how she handled grief that transcended into peace of mind.

Website and social media links:


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Read my memoir, Unravel: Rising Up and Coming Back from a Season of Living that Damn Near Killed Me at