Deconditioning Ourselves From Who We’re Told We Need to Be

“It’s worth it to know and be all of yourself in this life, no matter what you lose in the process.”

In this episode, I’m talking about how we decondition ourselves from who the world told us we should be to live our fullest expression and most aligned life. We’re all conditioned by the systems of the world, such as familial, educational, cultural, religious, societal, and more, and until we do the work to understand how those systems shaped us, we’re often living a life based on what we learned was “the right way to live.” But we’re not here to meet a status quo set by other people based on their personalities, preferences, and traumas. We’re here to be who we’re here to be, contributing to the world in the way that only we can. This work can be confronting and challenging because it requires stepping outside the subconscious strategies that have kept us “safe” and “secure” since childhood, but it’s worth it to live the life we’re meant to live and show up as our most fully expressed selves.

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What to listen for:

”We’re conditioned over time to be a certain way. And being conditioned from the moment that we’re born, without any consideration for who we are at our core, how we function best, our personality, our purpose, our passions, our interests, the way that we see and define ourselves—we lose ourselves because we get so focused on staying safe, on continuing to use our winning strategy to achieve the same level of safety, security, success that we’ve gotten so far.”

  • Systems are built by and for specific people
  • How these experiences shape our sense of self
  • Eventually, we all bump up against the limits of our conditioning
  • Living our fullest expression is our most powerful contribution
  • Why it’s hard to step away from our conditioning

“It can feel impossible because we’ve been living in our winning strategy until we realize that something’s not right, that we want something different, that we’re not being our truest self. And this is a mind-bending thing to work with, the winning strategy, because it’s your operating system and worldview. It’s based on your subconscious’s desire to keep you safe and secure. And inside of safety and security, it also seeks love and belonging so you’re not alone with the elements and the predators. It’s hard to poke at that. Your subconscious doesn’t want you to.

  • Looking backward to gain insight and information
  • Honoring all the unique elements that make you who you are
  • Deconditioning from who the world told us we should be
  • Unpacking the traumas that conditioned us further
  • Becoming unwavering in who you are