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“What you do in that specific second where you could react a negative way is going to impact the way that you continue for that climb or that you start the descent downward on the side of the mountain, literally free falling or just going down on your ass and sliding down and having to figure out how to climb your way back up with a lot of extra baggage. And if this is something that you struggle with, understand that you’re not alone.”
Episode summary:
In this episode, I talk about our reactions and specifically the first reaction that we have and how we can conquer that first reaction. It can either help you climb up a mountain or it can have you just slide directly down the side of it. There have been times when I’ve reacted to things and then thought afterward like “Oh, oh shit I probably shouldn’t have said that or I probably shouldn’t have done that” so listen in as I dig into the stories of my screw-ups and how I’m working to master my initial reactions but most importantly as I work on understanding WHY I, and we, react the way we do.
What to listen for:
- How we react to situations isn’t always because of the actual situation
- What it means to react and climb or react and slide down the mountain
- How our traumas trigger our reactions
- The ways I’ve learned, and continue to learn, how “to take a beat” and react differently than I initially want to
“There have been times where I’ve reacted to things and then thought afterward like oh, oh shit I probably shouldn’t have said that or I probably shouldn’t have done that or I probably shouldn’t have acted that way or I shouldn’t have felt like that. Can you relate?”
- What it’s like to go on an apology tour because you said something stupid or emotionally reactive
- How we can stop ourselves in that quick nano-second to take a beat and reset before reacting
- The importance of that first split second before we react and how that helps us or puts us in a really bad place
- How I reacted as a child and young adult and WHY I reacted in such ways
“Here I am, closer to 40, and there are times when somebody will say something to me and I can feel that I’m triggered inside and I can feel that the reaction is about to come out. And I’ve started over the past handful of years being able to really capture that energy as it’s getting closer to coming out.”
- I share a couple of stories of getting into physical altercations during my younger years and how those experiences prompted me to consider how I reacted to other situations
- Taking the time to process past experiences and understanding how we can best learn and grow from them
- What it’s like as we “grow up” and look back on our past experiences to use them as case studies for our present and future selves
“When you think about the times that you’ve been through, where you’ve reacted to something in a way that you didn’t want to react, think about other times where you have reacted in a way that you wanted to react. Maybe you took that second. It may have even been subconscious. It may have been something that kind of knocked you off your rocker and you were like, whoa, I need a second to process through that.”
- Some experiences may not trigger us and in those experiences, we’ll react differently
- Understanding our triggers and therefore the responses that come from them will help us as we grow
- Understanding the repercussions of our reactions and how we can physically and emotionally climb or slide down the mountain
Resources:
- If you’re struggling with your reactions and know that you no longer want to react in these ways or maybe your reactions are affecting your relationship then please reach out for a FREE clarity call to see if Mindset and Self-Mastery coaching is right for you. https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=20753012&calendarID=8206004
Thank you for listening!
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Listen to other episodes here: https://chooseyourcalling.com/author/nickmcgowan/
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– Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show”