“You can be grateful for something, and it can still not be right for you.”
In this episode, I’m talking about something that gets me a lot of heat each year: permission to be “ungrateful.” First, gratitude is life-giving, and I’m not saying anything that contradicts that! This topic comes from a personal experience and is such an important topic to me because so many people weaponize gratitude to keep others where they want them. They also do it because they don’t understand why you’d leave someone or something that fits their values, dreams, or ideas of what it means to “have a good life.” Regardless, the truth is that you can be incredibly grateful for someone or something and still choose to leave because it’s not right for you. You can be thankful and still never want to be around that person or space again. You can also appreciate an experience and all that’s good about it and want to move on to something more aligned. None of that makes you bad, wrong, or ungrateful! In fact, it’s the most loving and caring thing we can often do for other people.
Understanding the perception model and not taking things personally.
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What to listen for:
- Gratitude is a powerful tool that raises our vibration rapidly
- Why my ex called me ungrateful when I made changes in my life
- I’m still grateful for past jobs and relationships that I’m glad I left
- Honoring our truth is honoring what’s best for others, too
“I remember how long I carried that belief that I was being ungrateful until I learned better. Until I learned that when we make choices that are right for ourselves, they are, therefore, right for the other people involved, whether they agree with that or not. Because if we don’t want to be in that relationship, at that job that we hate and makes us miserable, in the community or in the friendship or in whatever it is because it’s not right for us, it’s inherently not right for the other people, even though they don’t always see that.”
- Other people don’t need to agree for it to be right
- People will project their hurt and pain onto us
- Other people wanting what you have isn’t a reason to stay
- You’re allowed to do what’s right and best for you
“You can be grateful for something and still not want it. You can be grateful for something, and it can still not be the right thing for you. You can be grateful for something, and you can appreciate that you have something that other people would kill for and still walk away. You have permission to be what other people will call ungrateful. Because what happens is when we go against what other people want for us or from us, or we go against what other people believe is the right way to live life, people project onto us.”
- We need to stop weaponizing and bypassing with gratitude
- Not wanting to hurt someone else is not a reason to stay
- Notice where you’re triggered by this conversation
- The perception model and not taking things personally