The Art (and Power) Of Not Taking Things Personally

“When someone perceives us, they’re telling us more about who they are and how they see the world.”

In this episode, we’re talking about the art and power of not taking things personally and how it creates more freedom and leverage to align with what you want. We’ve all heard about not taking other people’s opinions, judgments, or hurtful actions personally. Still, there’s more to the equation if you want to release your attachment to other people’s perceptions, and I’m sharing a perspective on this topic that’s rarely discussed. This work is critical in making the impossible happen because attachment activates our subconscious winning strategy and pushes what we desire further and further away. Additionally, we’ll cover the Perception Model so that you actually understand why things aren’t personal!

Read my memoir, Unravel: Rising up and Coming Back From a Season of Living That Damn Near Killed Me, here.

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What to listen for:

  • The perception model and how we perceive people or experiences
  • Our internal filters, perceptions, and deeper structures
  • Internalizing experiences based on our stories and worldviews
  • When our perception mixes with our current state and emotions

If we’re not conscious of our anger, if we’re deep in the messy experience and we’re feeling triggered or we’re feeling hurt, and that’s why anger is present, the way that we perceive something changes. It’s influenced by our current state, and it can be influenced by our physical state and experience.”

  • Someone’s perception has everything to do with them
  • We can have the same experience but different perceptions
  • We don’t use this model to gaslight ourselves or others
  • How we can trust that our perceptions are clear

“We must do the deeper healing work to really understand our own perception model and build it in such a way that it’s supportive and productive of creating what we really want.”

  • Feel your feelings but don’t take things personally
  • Looking for honest reflections in other people’s perception
  • Asking for other people’s reflections and insights
  • Truth is subjective and ever-changing
  • The “bad” and the “good” aren’t personal

We can relish in the expansive emotions and feel the goodness of it; that’s the same as feeling our disappointment, hurt, or anger. We can feel how we feel about it, but we don’t tell stories. We don’t interpret it. We don’t take it personally. Someone else loving my book is no more a reflection of me than someone hating it.”

  • We’re always revealing our perception model to others
  • Releasing our attachment to other people’s perceptions of us
  • Breaking free from our subconscious winning strategy
  • What to do if you’re struggling with taking things personally