Releasing Hyper-Independence from Trauma and Softening Into Support

“Hyper-independence is rooted in unresolved trauma.”

In this episode, I’m talking about releasing hyper-independence from trauma and softening into support so you can receive everything wonderful that’s meant for you. I have a history of being “strong and independent” while believing that was a strength in my personality when it was actually a weakness rooted in childhood and relationship trauma. I spent the last two years softening into surrender and learning to ask for and receive support from safe people, and that has made all the difference in aligning with the seemingly impossible things I desire. We can’t do life alone as humans, and all of our biggest goals require the help of others to some degree. Today’s conversation will help you understand the difference between healthy independence and hyper-independence and help you understand the somatics of softening into support.

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What to listen for:

  • What happens when it stops feeling safe to trust other people
  • A brief overview of attachment styles and how they come into play
  • Independence, codependency, and healthy interdependence
  • Saying ‘no’ to support when we want to say ‘yes’
  • Hyper-independence is a weakness, not a strength

I saw myself as independent. I made it a part of what made me worthy, amazing, special, and unique when really it was a weakness because it wasn’t a healthy independence. It was hyper-independence, and it was rooted in unresolved trauma. And the more trauma I experienced on top of that childhood trauma and those early relational traumas, the more it locked in that hyper-independence.”

“I had to face, head-on, my distrust of men rooted in years of trauma and abuse. I had to really look at that, be able to notice it. And to notice it, I had to be in motion around facing it, which meant asking for help. It was my trauma that made that scary, that made those stories feel like a possibility. I had to work through all of that. I had to process it in real-time as it came up. And the only way that we can really bring these traumas to the surface to be processed is to push those edges.

  • Using the somatics of receiving to receive with more ease
  • Trauma is relational when it comes to support
  • Healing must be somatic, not just intellectual
  • Resources for healing from hyper-independence