Taking A Look At Our Shoulds And Should Nots

“For the most part, a lot of people, I think have an external “should”. Like, well, my parents told me that I should go to college. My parents told me that I should get a great job, or that I should be a doctor, or I should be a lawyer, or I should be this, I should be that. What the fuck do you wanna do, though? Like, what is it? What is it that you feel you should do? Are there times where you feel like, I’m doing this, let’s just say, job, and I don’t really feel like I wanna be here anymore?”

Episode summary: 

Welcome to the Mindset and Self-Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan, and today on the show, I’m gonna talk about the “shoulds” and the “should nots”. And what I mean by that is the things that we’ve gone through in life that we’ve been told we should do, and the things that we’ve been told we shouldn’t do.

What to listen for:

  • The difference between something we should / should not do for our health (mental, physical, etc…) and what others simply push on us because it’s part of their beliefs
  • Ways to differentiate what you believe you should / should not be doing and what is systemic or environmental
  • Challenging questions as to how you’ve formed your beliefs around what you should / should not be doing and how life should / should not look

“It’s almost like fighting with your Dharma and fighting with what you feel called to do within your life. But if you feel like you should work at a job or you should go do this thing because you were told that if you do that you’ll have safety and security, well. You should know that safety and security really isn’t true.”

  • We’re all raised to believe things that are lovingly, or unlovingly, pushed upon us by our parents and guardians
  • You have choices and always will no matter what you’ve been through or what you’re going through but we sometimes can’t see this through our past traumas or experiences
  • Understanding why we feel we should / should not be doing something we’re doing and understanding that it’s never too late to make a change

“So whatever age you’re at, if you’re somebody who listens to this show and you’re in your early 20s or you’re somebody who listens and you’re in your early 90s, think about the things that you have done over the course of your life that you felt you should do. And why do you feel or did you feel that you should do those things?”

  • Breaking ourselves of habits is never an easy thing to do but more importantly, it’s difficult to clear out the reasoning behind what you’re doing
  • Some people feel they’re too late or too early to do something but that’s never the case
  • Understanding why you do the things you do is most often more important than doing, or not doing, those things.

“Fair warning, this could spiral you. If you’re in a hopeless marriage with several kids and you feel I should do all these things for my hopeless marriage and my kids, there’s a lot of unraveling that could come from that and you’ll have to sit with that.”

  • Sometimes we truly need our world rocked in order for us to make the changes necessary to grow
  • You’re not alone, I too was in what felt like many hopeless situations due to doing what I felt I “should be” doing
  • If you struggle with finding the reasons why you do what should / should not do remember you’re not broken you just may be blocked


Thank you for listening!

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